Gongs of the Gion Shoja bells echo the impermanence of all things. The color of the sala flowers reveals the truth that the prosperous must decline. But he is the exception — in this exclusive issue of The Daily Pingle, we explore the psyche of our editor-in-chief, 24 year old Aryan Pingle.

While others coward behind platitudes of fake humility, he boldly proclaims himself to be a 'Web Developer Extraordinaire'. But don't be fooled by the sheer magnificence of his aptitude in making stunning websites, for his peers deem him a master of adaptability; he makes container management scripts as skillfully as he prototypes in Figma. A "Jack of all trades" in the truest sense. This charismatic prodigy is the single greatest asset to the fields of Compiler Construction, Meta-programming, and Engineering in general. With the sole exception of Terry Davis, of course.

That one scene from The Social Network where Mark is downing a beer and writing a blog with In Motion playing in the background — it has left a strong impression on neurodivergent young adults who fancy themselves the next Zuckerberg. But not the lame, real-life billionaire; just the cool in-movie counterpart.

If you were to replace the beer with Soju, you'd find an accurate depiction of how it felt to write these blogs.

It truly seems like there's nothing this man can't do. In one year, Aryan Pingle transformed Zomato's latest venture, Nugget, into a technological marvel. He has made a name for himself as a full-stack developer, transforming their user interface as well as their overall software infrastructure.

And then he did it again. Sources say senior executives brought him aboard Deepinder Goyal's latest venture (this time, in the art world) to leverage his enormous talent. Despite unconfirmed reports of questionable leadership at Quiet Art Movement, he built up their tech infrastructure to generate several lakhs, starting from nothing.

AND HE GOES FOR A THREEPEAT — Pingle is now back at Zomato, this time in the legendary Web Platform team, being a "cross-functional innovator" in AI-enhanced products. Sources close to him claim, "If he was content with all we could offer him, then he would have ceased to be my best friend" and "Maybe the real engineering was the friends we made along the way".

But you can get in touch with the newspaper representatives on Instagram by sending us cool reels: @aryan.pingle. Hot, tall brunettes can reach out to our editor-in-chief on GitHub: github/aryanpingle. Middle-aged, balding men can feel free to e-mail us at realaryanpingle@gmail.com. If you're a recruiter, we assure you that we here at The Daily Pingle don't mean any of the ridiculous stuff we've written. And you may connect with us on LinkedIn: linkedin/aryan-pingle.

A bold claim by our editor-in-chief. But is there any truth to this statement? A closer look at the state of the web reveals that most websites prefer to have generic user interfaces that emphasize comfort over uniqueness. Think of the thousand shadcn-inspired black and white clean pages you have seen. A more appropriate adjective would be sterilized. Think of the brand logos that have been neutered in the recent past in the name of minimalism.

But what is art, if not an expression to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable? There's no sex appeal to something that's mass-produced — this holds as true for websites as it does for everything in nature. By definition, it's not sexy.

We here at The Daily Pingle... we're bringing sexy back.